persuasion and parenting

The way our kids tell it, they are the only inhabitants of the 5th-12th grades without cell phones. Alas, alack. I know I'm fighting a losing battle here; eventually they will have something plugged into their ears/eyes/fingers every waking moment, but my job, as I currently see it, is to delay the moment as long as possible. They haven't bought the argument that if their parents don't need cell phones, surely they do not as well. Nor are they convinced that the two $12 track phones we picked up for the family at large quite do the trick. Our phone request conversations cycle around something like this:

"But no one knows what number to call me at!"

They can call the phone in the kitchen -- it's never lost.

"But what if I'm not in the kitchen!"

Then you're a) on your bike, b) at school, or c) doing homework. You're not supposed to be on the phone at any of those times.

"But what if I'm out with my friends and I need to talk to you!"

Then take one of the family phones and call me in the kitchen.

"But if I've got one of the family phones, no one knows what number to call me at!"

They can call the phone in the kitchen, and I'll tell them.

Ahhhhh, circles. In general the kids have handled their deprivation well, but every once in awhile we have a flare up. About three years ago the older boys were dying (literally, I'm assured) for a phone and my scholarly husband told them if they wanted to convince us, they would need to write a 5-paragraph persuasive essay. And it had to knock our socks off.

All three of the older kids had drafts to us that week; all three of them were given back drafts with red circles around grammar and spelling issues and comments such as "anything related to the mall is not going to convince me." After the fourth draft, with its increasingly desperate arguments and increasingly comical commentary, the boys took a break while they work on strategy, but the 10 year-old brought a new draft to breakfast this morning. A four-pager which a friend had pre-corrected for spelling:

Cellphones do not have a way of putting pure joy into your heart but they have a way of helping your daily schedules such as time, calling, calendars, notepad, alarm clocks, taking pictures, music, and so forth.

Cellphones can be great to check time on as all you have to do is flip the screen of happiness or push a simple notch.

Cellphone games are pathetic, dinky, little games . . . [that are] no fun anyway – like playing hopscotch with a two year-old.

Cellphones have genius little calendars. If you had a calendar you could note when things are officially due. We could plan when to do jobs around the house.

My goodness. If I were convincible on this point right now, she'd have me for sure.

What is your kids-and-cellphones strategy? I'm all for input on this one -- I know it's only going to intensify.